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Adult Disney Fan Terribly Disappointed by Belle and Sebastian Concert

PHILADELPHIA — 32-year-old Disney diehard Samantha Bailey was beside herself after mistakenly attending a concert of indie duo Belle and Sebastian, sources close to the tantrum confirmed.

“I knew something was off right away,” said Bailey, while wiping away tears that had smudged the temporary tattoos of Donald Duck she had applied to both cheeks. “The performers came out on stage, but they weren’t even in elaborate costumes that were meant to fill me with a sense of whimsy. It was just unprofessional and not up to the usual Disney standard, like we were back in the Chapek era or something. Sure, I may have made a mistake when I bought the tickets, but they could have at least performed ‘Under the Sea’ or ‘Be Our Guest’ or something. Maybe the concession stands could have sold Magic Kingdom-style turkey legs. There’s a lot of things they could have done to stop me from having a meltdown, but I guess they didn’t want to make the effort.”

Bailey’s friends say they told her she was making a mistake, but were ultimately ignored by the enthusiastic Disney aficionado.

“We all warned her, like, a million times,” said Julia Oliver, who said Bailey dupes her into visiting a Disney theme park at least once a year. “But she didn’t want to listen to us. She just kept trying to get us to bet on who would find the most hidden Mickeys at the show. We even caught her arguing with Ticketmaster customer service, trying to use Genie+ to get backstage access. Like, this isn’t a Suburban Legends show, dude.”

Disney CEO Bob Iger noted that this is not the first time confusion has arisen surrounding their presumed relationship with the band.

“We’re aware of the situation and have been trying to pursue legal action against the group for years,” said Iger. “It’s clear that they are damaging our brand by confusing our most dedicated and valuable fans. These people don’t deserve to be tricked by sly indie musicians. They’re simple, innocent folks who have replaced their personalities with corporate branding. They deserve to be pitied, not exploited for financial gain. That’s why we’re offering three free months of Disney+ to any new customers who were fooled by Belle and Sebastian.”

At press time, Bailey was seen eagerly purchasing tickets to a Fantasia concert.