20. Dan Corrigan
Mark’s stodgy, homophobic father (who fucking LOVES cauliflower for some reason,) Dan is known for his cold and emotionally distant upbringing of Mark and Sarah. He definitely doesn’t seem like much of a thrill-seeker, but he IS quick to some pretty explosive anger, so we can see him being goaded into some pub scrums.
19. Dobby
Dobby definitely seems to have an audacious side (see her office supply closet activity with Mark,) but that doesn’t seem translatable to the typical activities of a hooligan. She likes to spend her time ironically watching golf and larping. We don’t think she’d be opposed to the lifestyle, per se, but she seems a bit too low-key to be intrigued by it herself.
18. Ben
An insufferable douchebag, Ben is wholly focused on his music rep company, through which he briefly employs Jeremy. He’s Zahra’s live-in boyfriend, and he’s much more likely to spend his time being an unbearable asshole than he is supporting her literary interests. It’s this typical coarse outlook on life that may lend itself to the hooligan lifestyle more than many other characters, but the odds still aren’t very high.
17. Daryl
Mark’s friend for one brief episode until outed as a white nationalist, Daryl is undoubtedly a huge piece of shit. If he’s the binge-drinking, fist-swinging, chanting type remains to be seen, but there are hints when he aids Mark in the infamous sausage prank which ultimately gets him fired. Whether he stuck with the World War II reenactments or went a more rambunctious route after this is a mystery. We’re basically at 50/50.
16. Sophie Chapman
Typically reserved and unlikely to behave erratically, Sophie undergoes a huge transformation after her extremely short-lived marriage to Mark. We see this in her drunken vomiting into the Fuck Bunker’s toilet during Jeremy’s gig, and also in her passing out in the ball pit at the kid’s play place. We don’t think there’s a huge chance of an episode going violent, but there’s definitely more potential than one might assume at surface level.
15. Megan
Megan is the female part of Jeremy’s three-way affair mentioned above. She seems more prone to hurt with insults than with fists, as shown by her resolve to make Jeremy cry during their life-coaching session after discovering he was also having an affair with Joe. She is an artist, though, which leads us to tentatively conclude that she’d be more open to the alternative lifestyle of hooliganism than you would initially think.
14. Saz
Mark’s Australian “girlfriend” for a pathetically brief amount of time, Saz definitely likes to party. While this tends to be composed of incessant hollering at Mark from the living room as she’s drinking with her girlfriends, she does have the tendency to black out and regret her actions the next day. Is it possible that said actions can include a drunken tear through the streets of South London, slugging everybody who speaks ill of West Ham United? We wouldn’t be shocked.
13. Jeff Heaney
A toxic bro by all accounts, Jeff likes to drink, play pool and poker, and continuously mock Mark in their joint attempts at winning Sophie’s affection. He seems to be a responsible employee, though, and isn’t terribly quick to fisticuffs unless provoked (remember when Mark taunted him into throwing a punch?) Honestly, we could see him going either way.
12. Nancy
Generally sweet, although pretty self-absorbed and manipulative to Jeremy at times, Nancy has the tendency to disappear and reappear throughout the series, most notably when she shows up as an employee at Mark’s gym after having managed an IMAX in Bradford while on crystal meth. Did that include a stint as a soccer hooligan? Are there soccer clubs in Bradford? Fuck if we know, but her position on this list makes sense to us.
11. Simon
Dobby’s ex-boyfriend Simon seems to be just an everyday, normal guy (though his youth, knowledge of music and athletic nature are a constant thorn in Mark’s side as he’s trying to win Dobby over.) He did, however, show an out-of-character bloodlust while paintballing on his birthday weekend. We’re thinking he has a darker side.
10. Toni
Kind of all over the place, Toni hooks up with Jeremy a few times early in the series while living on the same floor as him and Mark. She has a thorny relationship with her ex-husband Tony, and once got Jeremy involved in a cleaning product pyramid scheme. We wouldn’t expect her to go so far as becoming a soccer hooligan, but she did once admit to Jeremy that she set fire to Hampton Court Maze, so we’re fairly comfortable placing her here.
9. Valerie
Colloquially known as “Teenage Bowling Alley Girl” in our offices, Valerie is definitely adventurous and not opposed to random acts of pseudo-vandalism (her raucous laughter as Mark throws heads of lettuce down the bowling lanes being a key indicator.) We can absolutely see her ironically hanging out with some soccer gangs and ending up joining for real.
8. Alan Johnson
While this guy is ALL business, he does have an issue with alcohol. He also appears to be rather mercurial in nature, so while we’ve seen him snap at people, we haven’t seen him fully rage. It just seems like that potential coupled with a Beck’s relapse could result in an evening with Johnson going anywhere. Businessman by day, hellraiser by night feels like a feasible path for him for sure.
7. Barney
Sophie’s cousin Barney is a total blank slate, aside from the fact that he absolutely worships Jeremy and would follow him anywhere. He is quite obviously willing to do anything Jeremy and Super Hans want him to do, so if either of those two went down the soccer-hooligan route (spoiler alert!) Barney certainly wouldn’t hesitate to join in. Poor guy.
6. Clean Shirt Boy
We barely know this kid, but he’s got serious hooligan energy about him. He’s already got a roving gang of little shitbirds at his beck and call, and has no issue harassing random people (or, at the very least, just Mark.) We’re hard-pressed to envision him as anything other than a soccer hooligan two decades later. He’s probably passed out in the alley behind some random pub right now.
5. Ian Chapman
Sophie’s father is cantankerous, often drunk and, as we saw shortly before Mark and Sophie’s wedding, prone to acts of extreme vandalism when he’s been hitting the sauce. Anyone capable of burning down the barn of a man under the mere suspicion that he’s sleeping with his wife would make a fine hooligan. We don’t see Ian’s marriage lasting too much longer, and when it finally fizzles, look the fuck out.
4. Gregory
While we don’t know TOO much about Dobby’s new boyfriend, fucking look at the guy. He’s a blogger from New York City with “Vice hipster” written all over him. While we certainly don’t expect him to pursue an avenue as dark as that of Gavin McInnes, his brief stay in London had to have some hooliganism included at some point. The fact that he was so quick to beat the shit out of Mark at Super Hans’s wedding is even more reason to place him at #4.
3. Jeremy Usbourne
Always in search of somewhere to belong, Jeremy is absolutely susceptible to the sense of community a violent gang of soccer hooligans would provide. A fan of booze, drugs, and new life experiences, this would be a perfect opportunity to offset his brief time as a cult member (in a clear reference to a certain powerful, extremely litigious organization that we lack the wherewithal to feel comfortable mentioning.) He’d just need the barest nudge from #2…
2. Super Hans
Whaaa? Super Hans at #2? Any seasoned Peep Show fan had to have automatically thought of him topping the list after reading the headline. It’s true that Super Hans is one hit of crack away from dabbling in anything, and we mean anything. We’re surprised we didn’t see him randomly heading a gang of hooligans in any episodes we rewatched for this article. However, there’s one character that might have slipped your mind, as he certainly slipped ours.
1. Big Mad Andy
That’s right! Lager swigging (he prefers a “proper drink” while working,) prone to violent bouts of bathroom-door destroying fits, and mentally unwell to the point where he begs people to strike him, Big Mad Andy is about as likely as one could possibly be to become a soccer hooligan. After all, he’s already got the perfect moniker for it. Let’s brawl!
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