Tim Graham
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LEBANON, N.H. — Local homemaker Deb Kasper brought her well-worn salad spinner in for its annual service, sources in the…
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Steve Packosky
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COLLEGE PARK, Ga. — Christian fast food chain restaurant Chick-fil-A announced its intent to have all of its meat sourced…
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Mark Shady
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FRESNO, Calif. — A new welfare stipulation requires recipients to pledge that they will not enjoy any purchased goods from…
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Rob Steinberg
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Local 31-year-old Tyler Brown is finally financially successful enough to be able to accept an unpaid…
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Tim Graham
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PALM BEACH, Fla. — Conservative political commentator Ben Shapiro rushed to dry out his wife after she told him of…
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Tim Graham
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BAGHDAD — Historians recently discovered a sternly worded document from Senator Chuck Schumer’s ancestor that amounted to a “tepid appeal”…
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Alfred Barnes
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BALTIMORE — Local slob Bud Brokert attempted to defy the odds by devouring a meatball sub while wearing his last…
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Rachel Hein
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NEW YORK — An artificial intelligence system confirmed Monday that it has entered the race for People magazine’s annual “Sexiest…
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Bobby Korec
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POTTSVILLE, Pa. — Local couple Jules Rainier and Victor Trembino welcomed a newborn baby in a last-ditch effort to save…
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Mimi Kenny
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BOSTON — Local Bostonian Shawn Williams is still as much of an asshole as any other 47-year-old white male in…
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