Nathan Kamal
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LOS ANGELES — Legendary rock musician Sting has finally neared climax in a round of sexual intercourse that originally began…
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Jose Balderas
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ONTARIO, Calif. — Local punk Remy Omomo made a breakthrough during a recent therapy session and admitted his love for…
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Chris Bowen
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AUBURN, N.Y. — Local metalhead Stew Benendez came to the realization he could no longer headbang the way he used…
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Shane Pauker
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AKRON, Ohio — Attendees at Hamster Death Method’s latest concert felt overwhelmingly “whoo,” per an impromptu survey conducted by the…
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Tim Sheard
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HULL, U.K. — Extreme metal provocateurs Infant Annihilator are changing their name in an effort to minimize any association with…
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NEW YORK — New York Mayor Eric Adams announced he plans to give Sean "Diddy" Combs a second key to…
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Chris Bowen
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CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local man Thomas Harper mistakenly ordered a large number of CDs by nu-metal band Powerman 5000 in…
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Mimi Kenny
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LOS ANGELES — Taylor Swift, the popular recording artist with a key supporting role in “The Lorax” (2012), was reportedly…
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Noah Dominguez
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AUSTIN, Texas — Aging Black Flag founder and lead guitarist Greg Ginn mainly hired a bunch of Zoomers to be…
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Steve Packosky
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WATERVILLE, Maine — Lead guitarist Lloyd Weil of band Visceral Stench surprised his bandmates by adding an unbelievably intricate solo…
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