Jason Clemence
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SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local 46-year-old metalhead Rich Dresden nervously concocted a complex narrative to explain to the clerk at Urgent…
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Rob Ryder
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OSLO, Norway — Physicists at the Goering Institute of Hardcore Physics recently discovered a new form of toilet paper thinner…
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Cory Cousins
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CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local stoner rockers Dust Buster’s recent argument that devolved into screaming and name-calling ultimately led to hot,…
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Zack Zagranis
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BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local Korn fan Floyd Brennan recently admitted that the band hit its peak approximately 50 seconds into…
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Ryan Werner
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ST. LOUIS — Local Rush fan and high school senior Micah Kirby spent the entirety of the make out game…
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Chris Bowen
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I know that anytime you go to a metal show and focus in on the drummer pounding away on the…
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Ryan Werner
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CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins singer and National Wrestling Alliance owner Billy Corgan suddenly wondered what Billy Corgan thought about all…
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Jason Clemence
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AUSTIN, Texas — Members of the instrumental post-rock band Explosions in the Sky condemned Hollywood’s current lack of emotionally resonant…
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Tim Graham
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GREAT BEND, Kan. — Neil Stamp, guitarist for local shoegaze band Quavver, intends to work on playing the guitar as…
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Chris Bowen
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BEDFORD, N.Y. — Local black metal fan Dennis “Bjorn” Rubenstein celebrated the news of the Farmer's Almanac forecasting a particularly…
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