Chad Kubrak
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It’s 2025 and after over a decade of unchallenged mainstream hegemony, your hatred of Drake has been vindicated. Look, we…
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Trevor Graham
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LOS ANGELES — Local punk Corey Lambert awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after realizing…
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Ben Friedman
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NEW YORK — Local crustie Joel McCaffrey was seen excitedly planning a romantic Valentine’s Day evening for his partner by…
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Tyler Roland
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FORT WORTH, Texas — Local metal frontman Frank Fortibus inadvertently let out the best scream of his entire career during…
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Steve Packosky
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WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of the Interior recognized 34-year-old Rob Meszka of Louisville, Kentucky with the Citizen’s Award for…
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Sidney Conant
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Following years of penning autobiographical depictions of killing babies and stealing the toes and teeth of girls at Lovers Lane,…
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Peyton Cabral
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NEW YORK — Perennially vogue indie group Interpol announced plans to finally remove their sunglasses after 28 years, confirmed sources…
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Chris Bowen
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SAN FRANCISCO — Super7, the popular toy company known for its niche collectables, released a new talking Lars Ulrich doll…
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Tom Scarcella
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LOS ANGELES — Popstar Chappell Roan woke up to discover the severed and pink-painted head of a pony in her…
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Steve Packosky
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TACOMA, Wash. — Local retail employee Brenda Lawson found herself nostalgic for the Christmas music playlist at her workplace after…
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