Tim Sheard
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WASHINGTON — A new poll conducted by AIPAC found the top candidates for the 2028 presidential nomination are down to…
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Malia Simon
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HOUSTON — Local woman Charlotte Kissinger is reportedly only dating boyfriend Matt Bower for the truest contents of his character,…
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NEW YORK — Executives at top corporate media properties Fox News and CNN promised that all of their journalists will…
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Adam Frost-Venrick
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SALEM, Ore. — Local scientists at the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife (ODFW) warned this week that flushing unused…
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Dom Turek
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local crustie Hank “Spew” Collins was shocked and appalled to discover the cocaine he’d been snorting all…
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Greg Heller
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SOUTHPORT, N.C. — A veteran Southport slasher slash longshoreman is “beyond embarrassed” after botching the timeline in a series of…
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RJ Atkinson
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SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — Beloved slumber icon Sleepytime Tea Bear reportedly died in an apparent house fire after falling asleep…
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Steve Packosky
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MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Summarizer Google AI Overview self-destructed after a search for “2024 election Texas” returned an image of…
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John Danek
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MADISON, Wis. — Noticing the copious golden earwax covering your Eargasm concert earplugs, a depraved concertgoer at the Riff Palace…
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Sarah Cortina
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MADISON, Wis. — Local loser Jim Perkins reportedly found his DUI from two beers kind of embarrassing, confirmed sources who…
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