Chris Bowen
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A recent ancestry report revealed that a small portion of hardcore legend Henry Rollins’ DNA could be…
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Matt Husser
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NEW YORK — Independent Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reminded voters that he also keeps a monkey with a…
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Josh Baumgart
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AUSTIN, Texas — The Austin city government placed a bronze statue of a homeless man sleeping on a bench in…
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Malia Simon
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BOSTON – Researchers at Harvard University studying the negative effects of phone usage before bed concluded that nothing fucking matters…
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Alex Vlahov
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BEND, Ore. — Local amateur historian and occasional beloved family member Paul Poppavich vehemently dismisses news of fascism’s rising international…
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Alex Vlahov
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LISTERVILLE, Calif. — Tourists from across various southern California locales flocked to the sleepy town of Listerville outside of the…
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John Danek
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CHARLESTON, S.C. — A new study by the College of Charleston confirms that the majority of shoppers at JoAnn Fabrics…
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Bobby Korec
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MIDDLETOWN, Ohio — Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance continued to infuriate the nation by claiming that men who are…
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Bobby Korec
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IRVINE, Calif. — Taco Bell’s revamped artificial intelligence drive-thru has reportedly been making the human fingers commonly found in their…
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Ben Friedman
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PARIS — A local hardcore show instantly achieved immediate legendary status after Olympic legend Simone Biles single-handedly opened up the…
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