Matt Husser
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January 7, 2025
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, medical pioneer who received the world's first experimental rat penis transplant, announced…
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Steve Packosky
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January 7, 2025
THE LABYRINTH — Residents of a crust punk house were seemingly unaware that they were inhabiting the Cenobite dimension, terrified…
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Sarah Cortina
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January 6, 2025
PALO ALTO, Calif. — A new report out of Stanford University reported that 70% of the average punk’s hydration is…
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Livy Berry
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January 4, 2025
TAMPA, Fla. — Local 19-year-old Cody Carson reportedly declared his advanced vape expertise by writing “mechanic” on his otherwise quite…
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Patrick Coyne
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January 3, 2025
FISHERS, Ind. — A small group hosted an intervention recently to help their friend Krista Simmons who has become a…
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Antonio Cruise
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January 1, 2025
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local resident Calvin Davenport continues to experience unprecedented levels of euphoria nearly a decade after successfully recommending…
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Ben Friedman
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January 1, 2025
NEW YORK — Chaos and panic overwhelmed Times Square after the famous New Year’s Eve ball unexpectedly hatched causing revelers…
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Chris Bowen
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December 31, 2024
NEW YORK — Total loser Jay Draboll plans to spend his entire New Year’s Eve partying with friends in what…
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Matt McInerney
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December 29, 2024
BOULDER, Colo. — Local man Turner Eaton was seen standing in the soap aisle of CVS, debating whether to purchase…
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Ben Friedman
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December 28, 2024
EATONTOWN, N.J. — Local man Brian Johanssen admitted that he is still grieving the loss of his favorite radio station…
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