WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance can barely conceal his excitement at the prospect of getting “Two whole Christmases!” this…
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Tim Graham
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June 5, 2025
BELVEDERE, Ill. — Self-described ‘ultraMAGA patriot’ Gill Stevenson relentlessly criticized Greta Thunberg as she makes another attempt to bring aid…
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Ben Friedman
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June 5, 2025
BROOKLYN — Local man Dan Flemming was forced to explain to friends why, despite a repeatedly publicized hiatus from Instagram,…
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Justin Cummings
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June 4, 2025
NEWARK, Ohio — Local man John Regan went on a 20-minute tirade about gasoline prices while live streaming from his…
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Jason Clemence
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June 4, 2025
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. — Self-described “audiophile” and “vinyl junkie” Jerry Cordman possesses encyclopedic knowledge of the first half of countless masterful…
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WASHINGTON — The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) revealed that ICE agents just aren’t killing themselves, despite being complete…
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LOS ANGELES — Streaming giant Amazon Prime announced today the upcoming release of "I’m The One," an alternate-history series that…
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Zachary Wolf
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June 2, 2025
HONOLULU — Local skateboarding bulldog Excalibur reportedly pushes the board with his back legs instead of his front ones like…
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Zack Zagranis
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June 2, 2025
BOSTON — Middle-aged punk Mickey “Goatfucker” Sullivan never thought that swallowing several pills at once would be the most mundane…
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Charles Bill
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June 1, 2025
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Local landlord Larry McNulty was compelled to raise rent to cover the ever-rising cost of never doing…
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