NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Citing advancing mega-arthritis preventing him from “giving 100% every night,” Megadeth founder Dave Mustaine has announced he will be megaretiring following the band’s upcoming megatour to promote their final album, Megadeth. “After some intense megareflection, I’ve come to megaterms with the fact that it’s megatime to move on. My megahands are megafailing me, and to push on would be a megadisservice to all my megafans. I’m looking forward to megasetteling down and spending more megatime with my megafamily — My beautiful megawife, my megason, my megadaughter, and of course, my megagrandaughter. Might even get a new megadog!” Mustaine also plans to use his megaretirement to focus on his Christian faith, saying that after the megatour, he would be spending a lot more time at his local megamegachurch.
This is a breaking story, and we’ll have more as it megadevelops.
