Hey fam, remember optimism? You know, from the Obama years? Well, guess the fuck what? We’re doing it again! It’s been a rough decade, but I, for one, am PROUD to say I live in a country where only 44% of my most powerful legislative body supports an actual fascist guilty of deplorable sex crimes! YES! CHANGE! LET FREEDOM RING!!!
You heard me right: less than 50% of our nation’s Senate is under the direct control of an insane, convicted rapist and con artist who hates human rights and probably also molested a bunch of kids! If that doesn’t make you jump out of your chair and sing all the words to Hamilton, I don’t know what will!
That’s right, no more pretending to be Canadian when traveling abroad! The next time some smarmy European asks you, “How many of your country’s Senators act on the whims of a villainous narcissist who commits sex crimes and shows clear signs of dementia?” you can hold your head up high and say, “Less than half, you frog-eating bastard!”
They said it couldn’t be done. They tried to make us believe that radical progressives like Chuck Schumer and John Fetterman would never again have majority control of one half of one third of our federal government ever again. Well, guess what? The world turned upside down.
To all the racist, transphobic, fascist criminals currently in the highest levels of our government: Consider your days mildly slowed down. It’s a new era. Only two and a half of the three branches of our federal government are categorically, nay, cartoonishly evil, and we can all hope again.
If I can get personal for just a moment, in my household, we are barely getting by. Sometimes can’t afford basic necessities. My 8-year-old daughter often asks why things are so bad, and I have had no idea what to tell her. Now, I can point to a picture of DNC leaders and say, “Hey, they hear you.”
