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Win! This Car Comes With Stickers but It’s Somehow Cheaper

Holy shit, what a steal! I found this ‘04 Ford Taurus that comes with stickers already on it, but it’s selling for way below market price. I’m not even sure how this is possible. And before you ask, yes, the stickers come pre-stuck on the car so no installation is required!

I’m no economist but I’m pretty sure this thing should cost at least the price of the car plus the price of two 18-inch fire decals, a Punisher sticker, an eight-person stick family, and the names of every Democratic presidential ticket since Clinton. Nope! This thing is cheaper than it should be and it’s pre-customized. There’s even one of those cool “S” drawings already on the steering wheel. And I didn’t even have to pay the artist!

Somehow, I’m getting way more for way less. For only a couple grand, I’m getting a car and the personality of a 46-year-old who had a big Dave Matthews Band phase. Did somebody say BOGO? That’s not even mentioning the three lightly-used cigarettes and a cup holder that’s already sticky so your drink will never spill!

I was just expecting a practical budget car, but now I have to get ready for the attention that real car guys get. It’s unbelievably loud, it has those tilted wheels everyone loves, and there’s a small fire that burns out the back of it every time you accelerate or decelerate.

I gotta do some work on it, though. There are a few bits of bumper that are still showing, so I’ll be paying out of pocket for stickers to cover those.