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We Sat Down With Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman Because We Booked the Wrong “Avengers” Cast

Over the past ten years, no film franchise has had more of an impact on cinema and pop culture as a whole than the Avengers. Grossing nearly $30 billion and boasting a who’s who of Hollywood a-listers, we were honored to get to sit down with two of them: Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman.

First of all, I’d just like to say what an honor it is to have you both here, even beyond the Avengers, your body of work is just phenomenal.

Uma Thurman: Thanks. It’s nice to be here.

So, this is a little awkward, but I can’t remember which characters you played in the Avengers movies. Were you in all of them or just a specific one?

Ralph Fiennes: I think there’s been a mistake. We weren’t in that Avengers…

Uma Thurman: We starred in the 1998 remake of the British tv series The Avengers. This is for the 25th Anniversary right?

Actually, no. We thought you were in the Marvel ones…this is embarrassing. But I guess this probably happens all the time, right?

Uma: No, never, actually.

Ralph: Most interviewers tend to do a little background research ahead of their interviews.

Normally, our intern handles that…

Ralph: Are you trying to pass the buck on a poor intern to save face?

Uma: Pathetic.

So, I’m looking this version up on IMDB and wow. 

Ralph: Well, not every movie can be Citizen Kane.

Yeah, but this is supposed to be one of the worst movies of all time?

Uma: It’s not a great movie, but I’m proud of all my work and I think we did the best we could with the material.

Did you though?

Uma: (pause) No.

Ralph:  I was in The English Patient you know.

That movie kind of sucks too…

Ralph: It won nine Oscars!

I stand by my statement.

Uma: We’ve both gone on to have really interesting careers, I don’t see why we should sit here and let you rag on us for a dud we did 25 years ago because you made a mistake.

Ralph: I’m in Harry Potter and James Bond, those are both current, highly successful film franchises.

Uma: You don’t have any questions you would like to ask Uma Thurman or Ralph Fiennes?

I did, but they were all related to the Marvel Avengers. So you two are kind of wasting my time.

Ralph: We’re wasting your time?! You’re the stupid fucking prat who couldn’t take five minutes to make sure you had the right people for your interview and we’re wasting your bloody time?

Uma: If anything your little Mickey Mouse publication ought to be thanking us for even giving you the time of day.

Oh. Wait, you were in In Bruges. Can you do that you’re an inanimate object line?

UM: Piss Off.

Ralph: Avada Kedavra!