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We Sat Down With Jamiroquai and Struggled Because Their Publicist Said No Hat Questions

There’s perhaps no bigger name in mid-1990s, London-based acid-funk-jazz bands than Jamiroquai, which is why we felt lucky to score an interview with the whole band! We sat down with the ‘Quai and prepared to launch into an in-depth, exhaustive discussion of the band, when their publicist asked us to step into another room and told us that under no circumstances were we to ask the band any questions about hats.

Not going to lie, like a good 90% of our questions were about hats, so this one was a struggle. Here’s the best we could do on the spot:

The Hard Times: Oh hey, sorry, just give us a minute. We had a whole list of questions ready, but Staci says we have to come up with something else.
One of the Guys in Jamiroquai, Probably the Lead Singer: No worries, mate. Staci takes good care of us, but we’re real chill. Take your time.

So…what’s up, guys how’s it going?
It’s alright.

Okay, so you’re not going to give us a lot to work off of. That’s fine, that’s cool. We’re professionals. How about…20 Questions? Who can guess what we’re looking at right now?
You’re clearly looking at Paul [Turner, longtime bassist].

Damn, we thought that would eat up a bit more time. Wait, we just remembered something. Here’s a good one, in the “Virtual Insanity” music video, were you actually moving all freaky like that or was it special effects?
Mate, that was all special effects. Michel [Gondry, filmmaker and music video director] did everything. Wasn’t even really singing, all lip-sync.

Michel Gondry! Oh he’s super interesting, let’s talk about him for a while! Any crazy stories from working with that dude?
No, not really. He was nice.

Okay. Hmm. This is going to sound dumb, but is Jamiroquai like the main guy or all of you? Sorry, sorry. That was just filler.
You’re a card, mate. Funny stuff!

Oh, I remember something we can talk about! One of your songs was in the movie Napoleon Dynamite, right?

Really? Which one?

Fuck. Never mind let’s just uhm, I don’t know… if you had one wish what would it be?
World peace.

Yeah, cool. Kind of a canned answer though, no?
Yeah, got a million of em. We’re really good at interviews.

How is everyone feeling comfort-wise? Is everyone’s head warm enough?
What makes you ask that?

Okay, we know we’re not supposed to, but, dude…what’s with the hats?
STACI!

At that point the floor started moving beneath us, carrying us toward the exit as the one guy who was wearing a giant fuzzy hat the entire time was screaming at everyone. Pretty scary stuff.