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We Sat Down With Green Day and Asked Them for $4 so We Don’t Overdraft

When the opportunity to interview Green Day came up, we at The Hard Times were ecstatic. What couldn’t be gained from the wealth, both of knowledge and money, that these guys have? So with our landlord breathing down our neck, we sat down with punk legends Green Day.

Hard Times: Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with us! You guys have a new single out. What kind of royalties are you seeing on that?
Billie Joe Armstrong: What? Oh sorry, I thought you were going to ask about what the song sounds like. Well, we actually don’t get royalties for current songs ‘til like six months later so not sure.
Tre Cool: But you can get it on Spotify, iTunes, Pandora, Amazon Music, and YouTube! Go listen!

HT: Cool. Cool. So between Dookie and American Idiot you guys must have sold like 6 billion records. How does that feel… financially?
Mike Dirnt: If you mean financially like, “how does it feel to know so many punk bands were able to make a living because those records helped keep punk in the larger cultural conversation,” then yeah, it feels pretty good.

HT: Well I just had a ramen packet for lunch so not exactly. Anyway, you’re doing this big tour of…how many arenas? What’s like 40,000 times $50 a ticket times however many dates? That’s roughly about a fuckload of cash, right?
BJA: Um, yeah I guess so. We have people do the math for us so I don’t really know. Maybe try a calculator. Are you, like, mad that we’re rich or something?
MD: Come on, there are way worse people you could be grilling about their finances. You know there are billionaires buying up water right now so they can privatize it, right? Shouldn’t you be grilling them about their finances? Yell at them.

HT: Alright, alright, I can tell you guys are a little sensitive about how much money you make. I’m just gonna come right out and say it. Could we have $4? Our bank charges $50 for overdrafting and our dickhead landlord wants the “full rent” or whatever.
BJA: What? You want us to give you $4 right now?
TC: Sure, here you go man.

HT: Really? Wow, you guys are the best. I’ll definitely try to stop calling you sellouts at every possible opportunity.
BJA: Um, great. Thanks.
MD: Yeah man, whatever.
TC: *laughs while lighting a stack of hundred dollar bills on fire*

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