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We Ask a Pescatarian: Why Bother?

We’re no strangers to differing dietary preferences and lifestyles. You’ve got your hardcore raw vegans, your gym rat protein packers, and your crusties who live off cigarettes and whatever liquid most closely resembles water. But even with our experience with the multitude of ways a punk can eat, we are still baffled by one diet in particular: the pescatarian. So we’d like to ask, respectfully, what’s the fucking point?

Is it a sustainability thing? There are definitely run-of-the-mill vegetarians who don’t eat beef because they read on TikTok that cow farts cause global warming. But do you guys really think that fishing is a sustainable solution and has no ill effects on the earth? Anything done on an industrial scale is going to straight-up fuck the planet.

So is it an ethical respect for other life? If so, y’all are seriously like, “Ah yes, fish are not living beings.” We are confused as fuck by this approach too. It would make a lot more sense to either just eat everything and not give a shit or go full vegan if your morality so inclines you to. Eating no meat or poultry, but still consuming fish, is such a massive half-ass that it baffles us on a very fundamental level. What’s next? Putting a bumper sticker on your car bragging about finishing only half a marathon?

Can you fill us in here just a little? Why bother with any restrictions at all if it only serves to confuse even your most alternative friends as well as the normies in your life? The vegans are going to fucking tear you a new one and omnivores are going to try to make you eat bacon because anyone calling themselves that is still mentally in 2012 when bacon was the height of personality and comedy.

Anything? An inkling of meaning or justification? Why bother with this foolish charade? Nothing? Oh, to hell with it all. Enjoy annoying every side of the dinner table, you utter buffoon.