Can you believe it’s actually been that long? Lady Gaga just revealed that the iconic Meat Dress that she wore to the 2010 MTV Music Awards has rotted away to the point where she can only wear it to bed.
Believe it or not, there was a time in this country when we all thought that dresses had to be made of fabric, sequins, or whatever. Gaga was the only one brave enough to ask: “What if I showed up to that shit draped in raw flank steak?” And then she did that. We all remember where we were when our moms called us to ask if we heard about the hidden Satanic subtext of Lady Gorgo’s meat gown.
Since then, Lady Gaga has gone on to cement herself as one of the most influential pop stars of our time, mostly by doing boring, non-meat related stuff like being nominated for Oscars and releasing jazz albums with Tony Bennett that feel weirdly unethical to listen to. But at home, she’s still Stefani Germanotta, humbly spritzing her meat gown with L.A. municipal tap water to keep it from drying out into jerky.
And yet, time comes for us all, because what was once an iconic performance art piece about… oh shit. Veganism? No… the dark side of fame? Fuck. Was it a political thing? Anyways, what was once the raw meat dress is now a pile of oozing, maggot-infested flesh that Gaga wears with old Juicy sweatpants when she’s just lounging and squelching around the house.
“A Star Is Born? More like A Carcass Is Worn.” That’s what Lady Gaga says to the mirror each night while she gets ready for bed, gently wrapping the moist green flaps of grotesque, decomposing strip steak over her bare skin as she prepares for a beautiful night of what she calls ‘Beef Dreams’. The familiar stench of rotting flesh lulls Gaga to sleep in a rich dreamscape where Artpop is artistically relevant, House of Gucci won Best Picture, and Jared Leto doesn’t exist.
Once there was a cow that lived out its days feeding on grass in a pasture, that then became a pile of raw meat, that then became a dress, that then became a potential violation of the Chemical Weapons Convention. Such is the beauty and tragedy of the cold passage of time. But we hear Gaga still uses the matching Meat Purse when she runs errands, so YOLO baby!