If you’re a Misfits fan, you know you have to pick a side. It’s either “Team Danzig,” or it’s “Team Graves” (because let’s face it, no one wants to be on Jerry’s team.) If you swear allegiance to the team led by the clown shoes jerk nobody likes (that isn’t Glen Danzig), then you’re in luck because there’s another right-wing, Halloween-decoration-looking whine-ass fresh on the scene!
Meet Richard Warren. Much like Graves, Warren is a vocalist. He’s the lackluster replacement singer for a band that he has no business being in, and he’s also a Proud Boy who has completely missed the point of punk music in general. Sound familiar? You bet it does! You “American Psycho” you.
But there is one thing in particular Warren does best to mirror Graves, and that’s cry like a little, wimpy Nazi bitch on the weekend.
Sure, he talks a big game during the week. What, with his “my freedoms this” and “they stole the election that.” But it’s a good thing January 6th was on a Wednesday, because had it been a Saturday, ol’ spooky-bigot-crybaby may have had to sit that one out because nobody wants to hang out with him and even his family ignores his texts.
“There was something I forgot to say, I was crying on a Saturday night,” is the famous Graves-era lyric that Warren essentially lives his life by. One could imagine lighting tiki torches by yourself on a Saturday Night because you have no friends would cause anyone to cry, even a self-proclaimed American patriot like Warren, who likes to blame all of his life’s problems on everyone else. So if you see him lonely in the backseat at the drive-in, just remember he has no one to blame for it but himself.
Maybe this has been a little harsh, maybe it’s a case of beating a man while he’s down. After all, he is spending the next 25 years in federal prison for inciting an insurrection. But Richard Warren, and Michale Graves alike have a bright future ahead of themselves with a new election coming up. Maybe they will both achieve their vision of a fascist takeover. Or maybe they’ll just be a couple of angry blat-asses. Only time will tell.