Oh man! My Bumble date with this girl Rachel was going great, but then she looked at her phone and mumbled something about her cat before rushing out of the Buffalo Wild Wings right in the middle of my Dream Theater album ranking. I hope everything’s OK! I could tell she had been super impressed with me ordering the Blazin’ Knockout sauce for my Crispy Chicken Dippers (it’s the hottest sauce on their menu but I usually have no problem with it, and I assured her there was Imodium in the left knee pocket of my cargo shorts if it did cause an emergency), so I know a second date is imminent. I was saving this Megadeth guitar solo ranking for her, but I suppose I’ll just list it here until then.
5.) Looking Down the Cross
This ripper from one of the best songs on their lamentably overlooked debut album is among the sickest solos in their catalog, and Rachel definitely would’ve appreciated hearing about it. Funny, we had been messaging for weeks before our date, and she never mentioned having a cat. I honestly could’ve sworn she said she was allergic? I must be misremembering.
4.) Ashes in Your Mouth
“Countdown to Extinction” is the beginning of the end for Megadeth, in my opinion, but it’s still got some unforgettable tunes, and the solo in this song is definitely one to write home about. Maybe I should text these to Rachel so she can listen in anticipation of our second date. She hasn’t responded to the myriad messages I’ve sent her since she ran off, though.
3.) Set the World Afire
What really sucks is that I was hoping she was going to pay, and maybe give me a lift home. I’ve racked up a serious check with all these Dogfish Heads; not to mention I probably shouldn’t be driving after drinking all of them. Anyway, the solo in “Set the World Afire” fucking rules.
2.) Holy Wars…The Punishment Due
Whaaaa? The ending solo to “Holy Wars” is only Number 2? Yeah, I’m not just another metalhead, and Rachel will likely swoon when she hears this. Speaking of her, didn’t she say she lives alone? If so, who’s texting her about her cat? Weird.
1.) My Last Words
Perhaps the most underrated song in the band’s entire catalog, this one closes out 1986’s “Peace Sells, But Who’s Buying?” perfectly, and honestly, should I call her now or wait a bit to see if her cat’s doing alright? I have a lot more to say on this particular solo, and I’m sure she’d love to hear it.
