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Suck It Cobain: These Six People Turned 28

All serious music fans know that 27 is the best age to publicly  horribly, avoidably flame out: Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin — these are five talented people out of the billions of people in the word who all died at the same age. Eerie!

All the same, a growing number of young adults have decided to really stick it to Kurt Cobain by turning 28.

Here’s six of them!

Patti Garza from My Band in High School

Best known for playing drums in my high school punk band, Patti Garza pursued an associate’s degree in hospitality and recently started a popular food truck. She’s busy, but she still gets to play music every once in awhile, unlike that big dummy Kurt Cobain.

Marty Lee from Partying

This crazy motherfucker! It’s hard to believe that Marty “The Party” Lee lived to be 28, but he eventually sought help for his crippling depression and substance abuse issues. Marty recently scored an extra birthday on Cobain’s tragically dead ass.

Jake Darby from Upstairs

Jake is my shitty 28-year-old upstairs neighbor and he’s a huge fucking dick who somehow turns every goddamn conversation into a screed about black-on-black crime. Kurt Cobain signed his suicide note, “peace, love, empathy” — now there’s zero of him and one of this asshole, so that’s technically a win for Jake Darby.

Sara Trabelsi from Starbucks

Sara is a barista who consistently gets my name wrong but seems really nice. I hope that if she ever feels down she’ll think about Kurt Cobain and say to herself hey, you know, at least I get to be 28.

Related:  Feel Old Yet? You’re Not Allowed to Date Any of the 15-Year-Old Girls at This Pop-Punk Show

Ashanti Davis from Facebook

I think I met Ashanti at a show in Louisville. She works at a credit union, still loves Panic! At the Disco, and she will, in the course of her life, experience love and sorrow every bit as deeply as any forever-27 dead celebrity.

Bradley Nowell from Sublime

Bradley Nowell, frontman of Sublime, died in 1996 at age 28.

Are you sticking it to Kurt Cobain by being 28 years old? Let us know in the comments below!