Press "Enter" to skip to content

Sorry I Called the Grinch “Anime,” Please Stop Threatening My Family

Dear vindictive Japanese cartoon watchers,

You know me as the “sack of shit” who referred to The Grinch as “anime” in a now-viral blog post. While I have some to regret this post deeply both personally and professionally, for the sake of my family I must humbly request that cease your highly coordinated retaliation, which has already escalated to an alarming degree.

The Grinch seemed like an anime guy to me. Kind of like a Pokemon or a Dragon Ball Z.. I just assumed because he looked like the anime guys, “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” was an anime. I confidently described him as “a remarkably devious, if not problematic anime villain.” I labeled the movie “A Top 10 Anime.” I went so far as to describe it as “bonkers,” claiming I was “here for it,” the highest endorsements currently being given in film criticism.

The blow-back began almost immediately with Internet user YuYuHakushoQueer, who came out of the box strong with “You pinheaded fuck, The Grinch is not anime. I’ll ensure you and your family wake up everyday in harm’s way.” Minutes later another user, MizzHentaiShawty, posted a Google 360 view of my mother’s apartment with the caption “His Mom’s Crib, do ya thang.”

The threatening remarks piled on, with a few users taking it to the extreme by posting photos of baby carrots and claiming, “These are the author’s penis.” Those were not my penis. From slanderous to dangerous, no heinous comments were off limits for anime fans.

It’s the intimidation of my family members that has crossed moral bounds. The threats via email and snail mail. The bodily fluids on their porches. The multiple incidents of dumping hot hookah coals into my mother’s rhododendrons. It’s all been shamefully too far, and for what it’s worth, this is the sort of holiday destruction The Grinch would have wanted.

I sincerely apologize for calling “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” anime, and for calling The Grinch “one of the best guys in anime.” This is not the half-hearted apology of a man fearing for the life of his family, and the well-being of his mother’s deciduous shrubbery. This is the deeply felt, thought out regret and request for pardon from a media consumer who’s always learning and growing. I made a mistake. Did it warrant targeted harassment and financial extortion? That’s not really my call, but please believe me when I tell you I am cosplaying sincere regret over this error.