There’s a lot of anxiety over the economy these past few months. It feels like this country is just one tariff away from sending the job market into the shitter indefinitely. It sure has been keeping me up at night, knowing I might wake up in the morning to find myself unemployed and unable to afford food. Tonight I figured I’d take the edge off at the bar with the little disposable money I had, drop a $20 into the Touchtunes, and forget my worries.
Well, I’ve been here for two hours and I’ve discovered some good news and some bad news. Good news is, it looks like the recession fears were grossly exaggerated. The bad news is I only discovered that because multiple assholes in this bar are outspending me to bury my song choices and play theirs next.
And here I thought this country was in a financial death spiral! Apparently nobody here is aware we’re on the cusp of a financial crisis the way they’re shelling out an extra dollar or two just to push all my shit to the bottom. I can’t wait to see the next job report from the government, because I better see that the workforce created 90 million new jobs the way people are throwing $2 around. Either that or there are a lot of silver spoon posers in this dive. Both are plausible!
Here’s a fun fact: Did you know that even if you pay extra to play your song next, somebody can come along and just skip you anyway? I plunked down an extra $20, and I haven’t heard a single song I’ve chosen for two hours now. Every time I’m next, here come ten more songs that aren’t by Turnstile like I fucking wanted. Where can I get my hands on the kind of capital that allows me to spit in the face of inflation and cut in line?
I don’t want to hear one person in this bar complain about the cost of living or that they need three roommates in a studio apartment just to afford a roof over their head, because one of them has the privilege of paying an extra to unironically play Creed’s “Human Clay” in its entirety.
I swear I will drain my bank account just to hear something, anything that I choose. I just have to remind myself it’ll be worth it if it boosts the economy.