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Real Life Golden Girls? We’re All Going To Need Roommates Well Into Old Age

Great news, Goldenheads! Do you ever wish that you could live out the experience of being a Golden Girl? Well as the concept of retirement becomes harder to imagine for most Millennials and Gen Z, there’s a good chance that you too will be in need of living with roommates for financial support!

Have you ever watched Golden Girls and thought to yourself, “These women are all in their sixties. They have jobs. They probably have social security checks. Maybe a couple have pensions from their late husbands and another has alimony. Do they really still need to rely on roommates to pay bills?” Well for a forty-year-old show, it’s more realistic than ever! And if that’s the case now, just imagine when you’re at that age too!

Picture the United States in 2067. The country is in shambles. Entire neighborhoods are replaced with Mega City One-type condominiums. Inflation and property values have raised the average rent price so high you need at least six freelance gigs just to live. You try, but they all require 40 years experience. The only way to support yourself is to live with roommates. Any luck and you’ll find your choices to include a flirtatious southerner, a ditzy midwesterner, and a sarcastic New Yorker who brought their mom. That’s where you’ll build the strongest friendships of your life.

Think of all the fun you will have. You can live with your own Rose, Blanche, Dorothy, and of course a Sofia because we’re gonna have trouble supporting our parents as well. Together you can sit over cheesecake as you call one of your roommates a slut and another one an idiot. It’ll be an interactive experience more powerful than any VR!

For even better news, you probably won’t have a simple house with just four people. Think of those tiny apartments tech people brag about living in where they share it with 12 other roommates. Now picture that but you’re 60 and they’re all several Sophias and Branches!

And as you sit in that tiny apartment, arguing about who’s clogged the sink in the only bathroom, you can turn to one another and say, “Thank you for being a friend.”