Was that a date, or just a friendly hang? Should you delete Hinge, or is he just casually giving it to you raw three nights a week? Are you guys dating, or is he just using you for your air conditioning? These are all tough questions, but that last one we have experienced for ourselves a number of times this summer, and as such are qualified to answer. Take our quiz below to find out, once and for all.
You go to dinner and drinks, both of which happen to be in your trendy neighborhood in Brooklyn, and so after 3 margaritas and 2 subway lines down, you mutually decide to spend the night at your place.
If you went with “you’re dating”, congratulations! It might be dating out of convenience, but hey, isn’t that how all Millennial love stories start?
It’s day two of a brutal heat wave, with temperatures in the 90s and no end in sight. He proposes a night in at your place, complete with AC, “Die Hard With A Vengeance” (the sweatiest of all the Die Hard movies), and hand stuff. Normally, he’s going down on you like you’re a turkey dinner and it’s Thanksgiving day, so the proposition for just hand stuff isn’t sitting right with you.
Look, it’s weird to front-load what sex acts you’ll be performing on each other, but be honest: do YOU want to go down on his swamp dick right now? No? I didn’t think so. Take the win and don’t think about it too much.
You haven’t seen each other since DHWAV, and now weeks later, amidst a different heat wave, he’s asking if he can crash at your place tonight because his “roommate has a friend in town” and “your place is so much cooler/better anyways ;)”.
I’d be less concerned with whether or not you’re dating and more concerned whether he actually has an apartment or if he’s living with his parents/secretly has a girlfriend/is a drifter. But specifically mentioning the air conditioning when it’s mid-August and starting to cool down? Not a great sign.
He wakes up in your bed and mentions how much more comfortable it is than waking up in his bed. He grabs a blanket, feigning being cold because your AC is so strong – almost as strong as he is. When you mention the heat wave breaking, he reacts by pulling out his calendar and saying how “busy” he’s going to be and how much work stuff he has coming up.
Yeah, he’s definitely using you for your air conditioning. If the dicks good, why do you care, though? Just ride that thang until late September, then start looking for a guy who’s going to be around long enough to uninstall your AC and then re-install it next Memorial Day weekend.