WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump, the self-appointed Kennedy Center chairman, announced that a dancing Coca-Cola can and a novelty singing bass decoration will be among…
There was a time when any time I’d see that obscenely wealthy asshole Jeff Bezos gracing the cover of Forbes, I’d wish I could just…
Bullying’s an epidemic that’s poisoning society. Take it from someone who has, unfortunately, been a victim of this reprehensible behavior. Let me be clear —…
Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil definitely has a troubled history with driving. He came under fire in late 1984 for an incident in which he…
My life’s march towards being the male embodiment of fourth-wave feminism began the moment I was born. I opened my placenta-soaked eyes, looked up at…
You know what’s truly pathetic? The crowds of trust-fund influencers desperately trying to get a bartender’s attention, only to drop fifteen bucks (plus tip) on…
Look, I’ve done some things I’m not proud of in this life. We all tell little white lies to get by, don’t we? Smile and…
I’m a typical American. I like my THC-infused beverages cold, my mac-and-Cheetos burgers hot, and my government wielding its awesome power in obscene ways to…
It’s no secret that we live in an age of disinformation. For many years now America has been under the influence of a charismatic manipulator,…
Local Dad Matt Fredricksen was recently busted for eating all the Uncrustables at his daughter Kayla’s 5th birthday. Naturally, Matt’s antics have left the people…
As I ponder the waxing moon in contemplative solemnity, free of any obligations either vocational or especially social on this Friday evening with nothing to…
Being a parent in this day and age means constantly being aware of the internet’s ability to direct your impressionable children towards hateful ideologies and…
I still remember it to this day. I was sitting in homeroom, bored out of my fucking mind, when I heard my favorite band, Godsmack,…
Most people will tell you Disney magic is something you only see in movies or after an unlicensed mushroom retreat. But to those cynics, I…
The 2025 Yo Gabba Gabba live tour is fast approaching, which means a crop of noob fans are about to experience the magic for the…