BIG CONGRATS. Against literally all odds, YOU, a fully-grown adult, managed to pull off a basic social interaction with a stranger. You didn’t stutter, you…
Everything is getting more and more expensive these days. Retailers like Target and Walmart recently admitted they are price gouging all of us. As a…
We’ve all heard the adage that one should “live every day like it’s their last,” but what does it really mean? I’ll tell you. It…
In the words of Steve Miller and his band, time keeps on slipping into the future. Do you want to feel old? Well, guess what?…
Has your once hot and heavy sex life lost its flavor? Like you’ve gone from an all-you-can-eat Indian buffet to a bowl of plain lettuce?…
Meet Kevin Buchanan, a self-identifying feminist ally who also holds the record for the most hours that someone has ever spent watching Tik Toks of…
Hand to god, this thing was a steal. At least I thought it was. 2001 Pontiac Aztek GT. 40k miles. One owner. Spotless Carfax report.…
I’m so tired of these supposed healthcare professionals thinking that they’re qualified to judge me just because of their fancy “degrees” and industry-recognized “expertise.” How…
Through my recovery at New Horizons Chicken Parmesan Treatment Facility, I was able to get an entirely new lease on life. The community there gave…
Is there anything more beautiful than a father’s love expressed through music? If there is, we don’t want to know about it. Meet Jay Graham,…
In a world full of gourmet options and high culinary standards, I, Tony DeMarco of Tony’s Pizzeria in the middle of nowhere Indiana, take great…
I used to set aside fifteen percent of my paycheck for IRAs, savings accounts, and other get-rich-slow schemes. But why am I saving money for…
Mister Bond, welcome to my inner sanctum. I had hoped that you would manage to elude my men, even the very deadly and ethnically ambiguous…
It’s not uncommon to run into the occasional pest while cleaning out your garage, but when I stumbled upon a small nest in mine littered…
Every child of the 90’s remembers the legendarily corny Mentos ads, specifically how in every single one of them someone was faced with impending disaster…