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Our Top 5 Ween Songs and What Chemical Inhalants To Pair Them With

When you first start developing an interest in a band with a long history and vast discography, it can be intimidating to know where to start. This becomes even more true in the case of Ween, considering their musical genre is likely to change dramatically from song to song, much less across different albums. Add to this the fact that you should be huffing one of many harmful chemical compounds to really get the most out of your listening experience and you’ve got a daunting task ahead of you.

Here is our definitive reference guide of the best Ween song/airborne toxin combos that will leave you tapping your feet and cradling your throbbing skull in the fetal position.

5. “Roses Are Free” / Keyboard Duster

Both standard points of entry for newcomers, these are your mainstream accessible gateways into both the world of Gener ‘n Deaner and that of Allison from that classic episode of Intervention. If you are indeed going in blind, we recommend headphones for optimal listening and a pile of pillows or blankets in case you pass out.

4. “Pork Roll Egg and Cheese” / Scotchgard

The band may have stated many times that abusing the fabric protection chemical was intended to be a joke, but that’s clearly just a major record label trying to save face and avoid lawsuits. The only real question here is whether you prefer the aromatics of the Fabric & Carpet or Heavy Duty flavor varieties.

3. “The Fucked Jam” / After Bite

Both tending to be a bit much for the uninitiated, this combination will have your ears tingling and the nerves on the back of your eye twitching like the inflatable man outside of a used car lot. The song’s one-two punch of nagging synthesizer and growling bass blends perfectly with the insect bite relief of Ammonia and Glycerin.

2. “Mushroom Festival in Hell” / Plastikote Spray Paint

This one’s a bit tricky to pull off since the proper variety of spray paint has been discontinued for quite some time, but if you’re able to track it down strap in for a wild ride through the Oneness. What color you go for is up to you, but we suggest a deep red or burgundy so that you have reasonable deniability when you start puking up blood.

1. “Shamemaker” / Shockbutter

A relative newcomer to the scene. The prep time of combining Vicks VapoRub, hydrogen peroxide and Altoids in a food processor and whipping until smooth is a turnoff to some, but it’s well worth the effort for serious huff-heads. Smear the mixture on the inside of a halloween mask for easy huffing that leaves your hands free to crank up the volume on this undisputable jam.

Editor’s Note: At pressing, the author was being rushed to intensive care and our prayers are with Boognish for a fast and steady recovery.