There’s a lot of dumb shit happening in the scene and it needs to stop right now. For starters, every time I go to a show I see a bunch of concert-virgin jag offs wearing shirts for the band that’s about to play. And it’s like, dude, we get it. We know you like the band. You’re at the show.
But you know what’s even worse? None of these idiots are wearing pants underneath those cringe-ass shirts. We just have butts fully out and dongs bouncing with each one of their gleeful steps.
This scene is really small. We’re all going to see each other at the next show and the one venue in town is tiny as hell. You can literally see every person in the room no matter where you stand. So even if these reverse peeping toms find a pair of Levis before the next gig, literally every person in the scene will know exactly how awful their penis is.
And guess what? We can also see everyone’s shirt. So we know how dumb you looked with your dumb shirt choice and your even dumber balls.
But the thing that really pisses me off is when I see all of these pantsless morons popping a squat in the venue seating. Last week, an entire row was filled with bare-bottomed jabronis exfoliating their ass-ne on those already disgusting seats.
Those seats don’t move, you know. So anywhere you sit in that venue, it’s going to be on top of some punisher’s skidmarks.
I’ve been trying so hard to avoid these idiots. Last week I went to see a smooth jazz concert just to get away from them but the place was STILL filled to the brim with idiots Pooh-bearing it without any shame. Just standing around with their hogs dangling underneath an airbrushed picture of a geek with a straight saxophone.
One guy’s shirt did look like a penis was coming out of the bottom of the sax, though. That was kinda funny.
I just want to go to a show where I don’t have to make a choice between a band I want to see and taking that good dick back home immediately. Because I’ve already missed too many classic sets on the wrong side of that choice.