With growing concern surrounding misinformation, propaganda, and proposals of state-sanctioned “wellness camps,” Americans today are friggin’ scared. Are re-education camps in our future? Lolz, no. The most patriotic of Americans know that won’t happen, because we’ve never had like, education in the first place.
Our great nation was founded by people who refused to learn things. This is a group of sweaty-ass people who wore long sleeves and collared shirts in the summertime. These are fearless travelers who had never been to this land before, immediately dismissed any useful information from the people already living here, and instead started accusing each other of witchcraft.
There’s no limit to what our badass country hasn’t learned. And if there was a limit, we wouldn’t know how to measure it. The metric system, common core math, converting Fahrenheit to Celsius: We can’t do it, and we won’t try. Climate change isn’t real? Our weather isn’t changing? Cool, I guess. Or hot. We don’t know.
There is so much we Americans have proudly refused to learn, even in our own education system. And honestly, calling it an education system is pretty bold. You wanna rewrite history? You wanna keep history whitewashed? Whatever, man, USA never learned history other than Eli Whitney invented a type of gin, and Whitney kinda already looks like it has the word white in it if you glaze-read over it.
Teach us new doctrines? Gen Z can’t read, man. Don’t even think about throwing some fancy-ass word like doctrine at us.
We warm-blooded Americans refused to learn science past the parts of the cell that aren’t the mitochondria. That’s it. And that’s only because it’s the cell’s FREAKING POWERHOUSE, just like the good ol’ US of A is the POWERHOUSE OF THE WORLD. We can’t re-learn what hasn’t been taught, so don’t even think about re-teaching it, baby.
Remember, our best defense against re-education camps is to NEVER FORGET how much our country hates education. Only nerds enjoy being educated and only even BIGGER nerds would want to be educated AGAIN, right? It’s our patriotic right to refuse to learn anything, and any suggestion of RE-learning something simply un-American.
We hope you didn’t learn anything from this.