First things first, I’m so open-minded about sex. I’m vocal about it, too. I guess you could say I’m open-mouthed about sex too. But you know what hole of mine is not open to sex? The hole in my gums where my molar used to be. I don’t mean to kink shame, but seriously, the tooth fairy is one sick fuck.
Again, not judging. I just think it’s weird that no one’s talking about it. Like, why is everyone just okay with a tiny creature getting off on stealing baby teeth in the middle of the night in exchange for the change they got back from buying what I can only assume are teeth-shaped condoms?
I’m not closed-minded about sex. I contribute to multiple OnlyFans and I ideologically support all sex work, but there’s a limit people. And that limit is baby teeth. Hell, if you can get past the “teeth” part of it, the word “baby” is an even tougher sell. Sorry TF, I’m keeping my kids’ teeth in a secure location: Inside their mattresses in between a brick of gold and the certificates of authenticity to all those stars I bought.
The bottom line is teeth are disgusting and the tooth fairy is a twisted night-demon for being so into them. Once again, I’m not saying this to kink shame. Literally, any other fetish makes sense to me. I get that the Easter Bunny has a thing for pastel eggs, and I particularly respect that the guy wants to hunt for them. Santa’s kink for breaking into peoples’ homes at night is a no-brainer. Even the idea of a fairy sneaking into your room at night is understandably hot. But then you throw in teeth? Total dealbreaker.