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If Johnny Knoxville Can Still Do Jackass Movies, You Can Still Crush 20 Beers, Get In a Fight, and Pass Out in a Pool of Vomit

Hey old timer! Getting kind of up there in age, aren’t ya? Well that’s no reason to stay in tonight. You’re still young at heart! You can totally go out and do what you spent your 20s doing: getting blackout drunk, getting in a fight, and waking up covered in sticky, chunky success juice. Hell, if Johnny Knoxville can still make Jackass movies, what’s your excuse?

Despite the fact that in the next decade Johnny Knoxville will basically become his character from “Bad Grandpa,” he spent his downtime during the pandemic being shot out of a cannon. All we’re saying is if a 50-year-old man can still fight a bull with no training, you can still pick a fight with a much smaller guy in a bar. Just like you did in your 20s.

While you’re at it, now’s about the time to hit up your local skate shop and recapture your dream of being a pro skater. If Johnny Knoxville can almost die for our amusement in his 50s, the least you can do is try to finally land a 360 flip. This is best attempted after polishing off about 20 beers but before getting your ass kicked by that tiny guy at the bar. You’re still youthful but use some common sense.

After all that, you can proudly stumble back home, fire up a Jackass compilation on YouTube, and finish whatever booze you have left. Eventually, your body will reject your life decisions and send you stumbling to the bathroom to puke. You’ll wake up covered in your own vomit, feeling the pride that can only come from recapturing your youth. Your reckless, wasted youth.