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I May Have Lost the Battle but the War of the Bands Will Be Mine

You there! The band of merry men with smiles on their faces and the $25 gift certificate to the mall. Do you think this is over? Do you think you’ve won? This battle of the bands was merely the first in what will be many battles in the war for this city’s musical soul. All this loss has done is ignite the fire in me needed to properly vanquish you during our next encounter. When it comes to the tri-county music scene, there can be only one and I shan’t be bested again!

Though a defeat is never the preferred outcome, it warms my heart to know that it was not without a fight that I was slaughtered on the judges’ scorecards. I fought valiantly and though I was woefully underprepared for today’s conditions, I felt I adequately improvised the second half of my 10 minute slot. I thought we were doing five each.

Let us make no mistake however, your outfit was the victor today. There is no way around that. And while your victory will be recorded for all of history to see, what won’t be reflected is the narrow degree with which you escaped your adversaries as the judges showed that their favor can be bought and sold with even the pithiest of flatteries.

Had I strategized differently, or been able to find other band members willing to share my vision, I’d be wearing the crown today and enjoying the spoils of my conquest at Sbarro while the ground beneath me runs red with sauce. But alas, I was outnumbered on the battlefield and unable to overcome insurmountable odds.

In hindsight, I should’ve played guitar over a drum track and not the other way around. As an army of one, I will learn from my mistakes and we will see what happens the next time fate unites us. This is far from over and I’ll see you in hell.

Or the talent show next week.

Oh do you think you could give me a lift? If you’re going anyway, I mean?