The weekend’s finally here and you deserve a wild night at the Missouri State Fair. You got your leather boots oiled up and the brim on your shapeable straw cowboy hat is rolled up to its finest point. A point that can mean only one thing: you’re here to fucking party.
You’re just about to take the T-tops off the ‘88 Firebird when you remember you don’t have any antibiotics left over from the last time you went to a Buckcherry show and came back with pink eye. Before you consider just going to Buffalo Wild Wings for Fireball Friday instead, here are some precautions you can take to make sure the only affliction in your eyes is the word “affliction” that’s written on literally everyone’s shirt at this show.
Avoid physical contact with dirty surfaces
It might seem like a good idea to eat random ass while kneeling in a muddy piss puddle behind the portapotties, but remember what you learned from doing that last time: the number one cause of conjunctivitis is bacteria. Primarily, bacteria from a Buckcherry fan.
Try to not let anyone else’s hands near your face
Don’t get into a fistfight with your step-brother Tony when you see your ex sitting on his shoulders in the front row. As mad as you may be, you don’t want those greasy mechanic knuckles anywhere near your tear ducts.
Don’t fall asleep in an unknown environment
You would’ve been fine last year if you didn’t blackout in the livestock pasture behind the stage. Just saying.
Avoid sharing personal items with other people
If you have to do an eye-shot with a friend, make sure you each use your own bottle of Bacardi.
Try to stay away from areas with lots of known diseases and viruses. If you somehow get VIP passes, it’s probably a good idea to stay away from the backstage area altogether.