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Help! I Just Wanted to Brag About My Vacation to North Dakota

Wow, what a whirlwind of a day it has been for me. I woke up this morning and decided to make the drive with my family to beautiful Sioux County, North Dakota for vacation. After enjoying some of the natural beauty of North Dakota, I decided to check in to Facebook so I could brag to my friends. Little did I know, my Facebook feed would be completely ambushed by people checking in at Standing Rock, ND as some sort of protest. Now everyone thinks I’m posting in solidarity!

Here’s the deal:

Am I at the Standing Rock Indian Reserve in North Dakota?
Yes. It’s a beautiful area that is well-suited for Instagram pictures that get a lot of likes.

Do I stand in solidarity with the protesters?
Sure. I haven’t really looked into it but I’m usually down.

Did I post on Facebook to show my solidarity?
No! I just wanted everyone to know I’m at a place in my life where I can take a day off from work to travel with my family to North Dakota. And these bastards ruined that for me.

Related: You Know What? Every Halloween Costume is Problematic

This is the problem with social media, millennials, and slacktivism in America today. People think they can just change the world with a tweet or a Facebook status, but all they’re really doing is hurting real Americans — like the ones who finally get to go on a nice vacation with their wife and two dogs and all they want to do is brag about it online.

Carl Sagan once said, “Who are we, if not measured by our impact on others?”

Ah crap. I’m realizing now that when I posted that quote on my Facebook check in at the Standing Rock Indian Reserve in North Dakota, all of my friends probably thought it had something to do with protesting or whatever.

That’s not what I was trying to say at all! I was just trying to explain that I believe we are measured by how our braggy posts on social media make our friends feel jealous and left out. Also, I thought Carl Sagan would make me look smart.

Oh man, what a terrible day to be in North Dakota if you’re me.

Let us know in the comments below if you’re ACTUALLY in North Dakota on vacation, like Jeremy.