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Ears: If You’re Cold, They’re Cold. Bring Them Inside

As temperatures continue to drop this winter there are a couple things to keep in mind. We all know that cold weather can cause pipes to freeze, car batteries to die, and your friend living in Los Angeles to be even more smug. However, in Brooklyn, a new epidemic has broken out: cold ears.

I understand that keeping our ears safe and warm might not always look cool, but we need to wake up. It’s time we end the suffering. Besides, being cool isn’t just about your accessories, it’s mostly about looking down on other people. Here are a couple of tips to help keep your ears warm this winter and to help nurture your already holier than thou attitude:

1. Ears should never be left out for long periods of time. Ears are happiest when they are taken out for short, but frequent walks to the record store, or to the coffee place where your ex works. Make sure he/she/they know you’re still available, but also taking care of yourself.

Related: Poll: Do You Wanna Be Freezing Cold on the Way to the Venue or Drenched in Sweat Once You’re There?


2. Protect them. If longer jaunts in the cold are necessary there are ways to protect your ears from the elements. Life Hack Alert! You can cover your ears with the hat on your head! In the time it takes to scroll through Spotify and select the perfect Mac DeMarco mix, you can pull that Carhart beanie down over your ears. That’s actually what they’re for, but like, nobody knows that. It’s actually kind of crazy.

3. If you see something, say something. Don’t be afraid to confront people about their problematic ear-related behavior. Signal boost with the hashtag #earourcries.

We also sell beanies! For real:

Article by Sam Rose @samcoryrose