Ring ring! It’s the Girlboss Academy calling and they’re offering this brave woman a full ride because she slays all day until 4 A.M! Well, that’s only if you consider binge-watching Ozark and scrolling through TikTok for eight hours a day “slaying.” Which we do!
Granted, she could totally be more productive if she didn’t push herself to stay up so late every night, but this heroic woman keeps coming up with useless reasons to keep her eyes open. We admire the courage it requires to take three naps a day instead of just getting a normal eight hours of sleep. She is so against the grain!
Can you blame her? Nighttime is the best time to be productive, which for this woman means stalking her ex-girlfriend’s Instagram for two hours, reading the Wikipedia pages for cast members of Love Island, and doomscrolling on Twitter to see what dumb thing Elon Musk says next. These are incredibly essential activities that are best performed from 1 AM to 4 AM. She would love to get a good night’s sleep so she could be productive during the day, but that simply won’t work with her unnecessary 4AM schedule.
This brave girlie needs a lot of caffeine to run on only four hours of sleep a day. Her daily routine is as follows: two cups of coffee in the morning, two more cups of coffee at the office, one Red Bull during lunch, and a large cold brew on the way home. Can you believe she’s still exhausted all day even though her blood stream is essentially pumping espresso? This issue could be fixed if she went to sleep at a decent hour but no, our determined darling is going to stay up all night overthinking her life choices!
Sure, this efficient lifestyle definitely comes with a drawback or two. Her retinas are definitely going to suffer permanent damage from the constant blue light of her iPhone. She’s most likely losing brain cells by watching hours of alien conspiracy theories on YouTube every night. Lastly, her personality has become a bit insufferable from being constantly exhausted but hey, she keeps trucking on into the wee hours of the night despite the negative long-term effects and for that we simply have no choice but to stan!
We love to see a sleepy queen thrive and thriving for this woman means playing Animal Crossing until the sun starts to come up even though she has to be awake at 8 AM. What a trailblazer!