One was a massively corrupt political party dragging the country into authoritarian oligarchy through lies, xenophobia, and secret police. The other, a Democratic senator, fresh…
Ah, the Fourth of July: the day we celebrate George Washington conquering thousands of commies back in biblical times to win our God-given freedom to…
Listen up, weary renters! Are you bummed over the fact that you’ll never know the joy that comes with owning property and accumulating wealth as…
Nu-metal really was a fantastically underrated genre, and society has suffered from it not being in the mainstream for the past two decades. Luckily, thanks…
Meet 56-year-old Don Harlow of Milford, Connecticut. In the wake of his divorce, Harlow has found solace in dating 20-year-old Jenna Fairmont. As his marriage…
How many times have you been watching TV when a Taco Bell commercial comes on showing hot, smiling twenty-somethings “chilling” and “laughing” and you think…
So Rick Rubin is producing your next album. Fantastic news! He’s a musical genius known for unconventional production methods such as transcendental snacking and recumbent…
Wow, you can never judge a book by its cover. Even if that cover is an NYPD uniform. I mean here I am, stumbling piss…
Bluesky: It seems like the place on the internet where everyone wants to be right now. “It’s like Twitter, but with less Nazis”, they say.…
Holy fuck you guys won’t believe this shit. McFuckingDonald’s secret menu is real and it will change your normal dumbass lunch for the better. I…
My fellow centrists, As of this writing, I have just gotten off the phone with Zohran Mamdani, a democratic socialist, congratulating him on winning the…
With growing concern surrounding misinformation, propaganda, and proposals of state-sanctioned “wellness camps,” Americans today are friggin’ scared. Are re-education camps in our future? Lolz, no.…
Your straight edge loved one has become ensnared in the terrible trap of Liquid Death abuse and you can’t stand to see them like this.…
You there. Yeah, you. I see you in that, ahem, “vintage” Strokes t-shirt, leaning against the wall in your ripped jeans and your Chuck Taylors.…
Hey, kid. I may not be a household name, but back in the day, I was one of the in-demand session players. From ‘80 to…