Go through the Christmas carol canon and there are dozens of songs about wanting to to fuck Santa Claus. “Santa Baby.” “I Saw Mommy Kissing…
So far, winter break has been pretty cool. I was really excited for Christmas, and I know Mom and Dad hide presents in their closet.…
So you’re broke, it’s almost Christmas, and you forgot to buy gifts for everyone. Great news! Turns out that show you’re at right now is…
When I left home to become a big-time mall Santa divorce attorney in New York City, I never thought I’d end up back in my…
Well, it’s that magical time of the year again. It’s the holidays and all that capitalist bullshit that we used to make fun of when…
As the unofficial assistant hiring manager for Frankie’s Frozen Pizzas Incorporated, I’ve seen my fair share of disrespectful candidates, but I can’t say I recall…
Son, I will not be mailing your Christmas wishlist to the North Pole this year, please have a seat. Over the years your mother and…
Get ready for a truth bomb. I keep hearing about this new bullshit epidemic known as “male loneliness” and it makes me so mad, I…
Great show last night! Seriously, props. Your new band’s first show was packed with friends, your significant other, your significant other’s friends, your significant other’s…
It’s Monday. Your co-worker has a lot to tell you about their weekend, and pretty soon you feel yourself wanting to exclaim each payment detail…
I think I finally found my career: touring musician! It’s been a long, strange path, but I have put in years of work, and it’s…
Let’s all take a moment to play the world’s smallest violin for first-gen Tesla owners. On the one hand they were able to afford a…
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
The holidays are back once again and many feel the urgent community responsibility of purchasing their loved one’s gifts from local, neighborhood stores even though…
I’ve never wanted any special treatment for being color blind, but I do appreciate the accommodations that society has provided to me that most chromatypicals…
So, you got got. It’s okay, it happens to the best of us, and it’s all part of the game! Rug pulls by dishonest internet…