6 Esteemed Sea Captains Talk About Their First Encounters With Crust Punks
We asked six esteemed sea captains to talk to us about their first encounters with crust punks. WARNING: these stories are…
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The Hard Times Staff — Page 83
936 stories found
Humans: Crust Punks’ Ancient Ancestors?
AUSTIN, Texas – Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin have made a startling discovery. Though controversial, anthropologists have…
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Man With No Money, Venue, Contacts, or Motivation Feels He Could Make a Better Riot Fest Lineup
DENVER - Unemployed internet commenter, Shane Clifford, 33, feels that despite the fact he has no money, access to venues,…
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Man Hoping Girls at Show Notice He Knows Every Lyric
PHOENIX, Ariz. - Joel Simmons, 24, is certain the only way to turn his lackluster love life around is to…
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Satan Reportedly Unimpressed with 2017 Metal Selection
HELL - Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness and Ruler of All Things Evil, is reportedly unimpressed with what he called,…
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Portland Trash Core Band Outed as Three Raccoons with a Drum Machine
PORTLAND, Ore. - Stink Bandits, a heavily hyped local trash core band, were outed as nothing more than three raccoons and…
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Office Punk Stricken with Dread After Realizing He Left Gutter Sluts Flyer on Copy Machine
SARASOTA, Fla. - Office worker and self-described punk, Brian Nesom, had a sudden and overwhelming sense of dread while leaving…
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Punk Wears Fred Perry and Cleanest Black Jeans to Sister’s Wedding
VIRGINIA BEACH, Virg. - Wedding season is in full swing, which means one thing: The nation's punks are struggling with…
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Rachel Dolezal Now Claiming to Be Founding Member of Bad Brains
SPOKANE, Wash. - After resigning from her post as president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the N.A.A.C.P due to…
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First Person to Arrive at Show Unsuccessfully Attempts to Appear Busy on Phone
ORLEANS, Mass. - Ticket holder Nick Cascarella made a desperate attempt to appear to be busy on his phone upon…
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