EASTON, Md. — Local misogynist Bryce Turner is starting to suspect that he, in addition to MSNBC, are to blame for his inability to convince…
Sleepytime Tea Bear Dies in House Fire After Once Again Falling Asleep, Leaving Fireplace Unattended
Sleepytime Tea Bear Dies in House Fire After Once Again Falling Asleep, Leaving Fireplace Unattended
SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — Beloved slumber icon Sleepytime Tea Bear reportedly died in an apparent house fire after falling asleep and leaving the fireplace unattended,…
NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — Local doctor, and self-described nihilist, recommended more sleep for better mood, improved brain function, and a faster return to the endless…
EVANSVILLE, Ind. — Local hardcore kid Jackson Gattis is reportedly the most athletic student at his school despite his complete lack of participation in gym…
BALTIMORE — A recent study out of Johns Hopkins confirms there’s absolutely nothing cool about drugs, except for all the cool stuff you’ll see, hear,…
Wow, you can never judge a book by its cover. Even if that cover is an NYPD uniform. I mean here I am, stumbling piss…
WASHINGTON — The Federal Aviation Administration announced that real motherfuckers may still board all domestic flights, regardless of Real ID status, White House sources have…