Sobbing, Confused Mike Pence Spotted Leaving Lamb of God Show Early
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence was “disoriented” and “inconsolable” last night leaving a concert by metal band Lamb of…
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Patrick Crooks — Page 14
162 stories found
Band, Audience, Venue Staff All Agree They’re Too Old for This Shit
PORTLAND, Maine — Attendees, staff, and band at a Drunk Witch show last night simultaneously all concluded that they’re just…
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Morrissey Now Selling Autographed Skrewdriver Albums
DETROIT — Controversial singer/songwriter Morrissey is now selling signed copies of albums by the notorious white power band Skrewdiver for…
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Punk Really Fucking Up Family Feud Survey
BURBANK, Calif. — Contrarian punk Greg Howard derailed his family’s appearance on “Family Feud” yesterday with esoteric answers and random…
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Wardrobe Department Figures Aerosmith Tee Punk Enough
LOS ANGELES — The wardrobe department for last night’s episode of long-running procedural “NCIS: Los Angeles” dressed a “punk” character…
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Lifehack Just Made Problem Worse
NEW YORK — Local man Conor McLaughlin took to the internet yesterday to find a low-cost, DIY hack to help…
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Vice Writer Desperately Trying to Find Something Problematic About Spongebob Meme
NEW YORK — Vice writer Evan Walsh spent countless hours last week trying to find something problematic about a recent…
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Rising Cost of Rent Forces Couple to Become Poly
SAN FRANCISCO — Formerly monogamous couple Corinne Pickett and Rob Laban have embraced a life of polyamory, opening up their…
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If You Don’t Do Something About the Annual Murders, I Can No Longer Send My Kids to Your Summer Camp
I wish to bring a troubling issue to the attention of the management at Camp Crystal Lake. I have been…
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We Can’t Remember Why We Made This Image of Mike Pence in a Dokken T-Shirt
Well, this is just a fucking mess. Last night I went on what my ex refers to as one of…
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