Pastor Officiating Wedding Clearly Fucked Bride at One Point
WHEATON, Ill. — The intimate detail given by Pastor Ryan Landry at the wedding of Lauren Frey and Michael Dent…
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Patrick Crooks
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Smashed Guitar Had One Day Until Retirement
ATHENS, Ga. — A Gibson Flying V with over 20 years of service in the punk scene was smashed just…
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We Celebrate the 25th Anniversary of Little Giants by Speculating Whose Life Has Been Destroyed by CTE
Released in 1994, Little Giants is the classic underdog story of a misfit football team overcoming the odds to defeat…
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You Can’t Fight City Hall, but You Can Fight the Guy at the Front Desk
Theses days, the bureaucracy and red tape of local government are choking the life out of democracy. And I don't…
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Buzzfeed Issues Apology for “Would You Survive the Holocaust?” Quiz
NEW YORK — Executives at Buzzfeed issued an apology today for their quiz, “Plan A Perfect Winter Day and We’ll…
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Man’s Pleas for Help Dismissed as Self-Deprecating Humor
RICHMOND, Ind. — Depressed man Mike Calkins’s cries for help yesterday were laughed off again by friends and colleagues, due…
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DIY Project Abandoned After First Minor Setback
NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Aspiring influencer Joey Partouzi abandoned a much-hyped DIY project in record time yesterday after facing a small…
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Divorced Parents Put Aside Differences to Disapprove of Daughter’s Fiancé
VISTA, Calif. — Divorced parents Margaret Clark and Pete Doyle put aside years of mutual acrimony last night, reconnecting over…
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Sobbing, Confused Mike Pence Spotted Leaving Lamb of God Show Early
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence was “disoriented” and “inconsolable” last night leaving a concert by metal band Lamb of…
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Band, Audience, Venue Staff All Agree They’re Too Old for This Shit
PORTLAND, Maine — Attendees, staff, and band at a Drunk Witch show last night simultaneously all concluded that they’re just…
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