Man Assumes the Worst After Radio Station Plays Three Bob Dylan Songs in a Row
FARMINGDALE, N.Y. — Bob Dylan fan Eric Donnelly panicked after a classic rock station played three Dylan songs in a…
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Patrick Coyne — Page 37
377 stories found
Poser Only Able to Name 22 Guided by Voices Albums
CENTERVILLE, Ohio — Spaceboy Records clerk and “total poser” Matthew Wright was shamefully only able to name 22 of 25…
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Why Is It That I Always Seem to Murder Celebrities in Threes?
I’m a pretty normal guy, I’ve got a job, I’ve got hobbies. I like to go to the movies and…
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Haunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial Grounds
ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the…
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Woman Checking in on Sims for First Time in 7 Years Horrified to Learn They’ve Gotten Really Into Right-Wing Extremism
BEAUFORT, S.C.— Shantal Addams was shocked to find that several characters she created in the video game The Sims had…
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New Canadian Law Requires Mandatory Two-Year Service in Broken Social Scene
OTTAWA, Ontario — The Canadian Parliament passed a law yesterday requiring all citizens over the age of 18 to spend…
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Teen Tagging Overpass with Anarchy Symbol Must be Home by 6 p.m. or Else
HADDONFIELD, N.J. — 13-year-old “badass” Aiden Christian spent Saturday afternoon skateboarding with friends and spray-painting the anarchy symbol on the…
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Velvet Underground Excited to be Discovered by Incoming College Freshmen
NEW YORK — The legendary art-rock band the Velvet Underground eagerly anticipate the band's upcoming discovery by thousands of college freshmen…
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Phish Manager Asks Fans Not to Tap on Glass Tour Bus Windows
AUBURN HILLS, Mich. — Phish manager Coran Capshaw desperately pleaded with enthusiastic Phish fans last night to stop tapping on…
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I Like Everything Except Rap, Country, and Poor People
I’m a very open-minded person. As such, my tastes and preferences are pretty wide-ranging. On any given day I could…
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