Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

December 11, 2017

LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Music fans at the Kentucky State Fair were surprised and depressed last week to learn that what…

December 10, 2017

MINEOLA, Texas — The hope of trying West Coast-based fast food restaurant In-N-Out Burger is reportedly the only thing keeping…

December 8, 2017

SEATTLE — The War on Christmas took a disturbing turn this week when radicalized Starbucks employees released a shocking video…

November 22, 2017

WASHINGTON — Military drone pilot 1st Lt. Juan Herrera was ordered by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly to…

November 20, 2017

FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Every '90s kid remembers the classic commercial for the board game Crossfire: Two leather-clad children…

November 13, 2017

Just two years ago, I was stuck in a 40 hour-a-week, 100K-a-year job with amazing health benefits. Sure, it…

November 4, 2017

FARMINGDALE, N.Y. — Bob Dylan fan Eric Donnelly panicked after a classic rock station played three Dylan songs in a…

October 23, 2017

CENTERVILLE, Ohio — Spaceboy Records clerk and “total poser” Matthew Wright was shamefully only able to name 22 of 25…

October 16, 2017

I’m a pretty normal guy, I’ve got a job, I’ve got hobbies. I like to go to the movies and…

October 13, 2017

ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the…