Star Trek Characters Ranked by How Drunk They Would Get at a Wedding
The Star Trek franchise mostly takes place centuries from now, when humanity has rid itself of its worst instincts, gotten…
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Nathan Kamal — Page 5
252 stories found
Adult Virgin Weighing Offers from Incel, “Doctor Who” Communities
PATERSON, N.J. — Jeff Ackres, a prominent adult virgin, is currently deciding between tempting recruitment offers from both the involuntary…
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Every Character from “The O.C.” Ranked by How MAGA Conservative They Are Now
“The O.C.” is one of the defining teen dramas of the early 2000s, an epic tale of class differences, growing…
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6 Awesome Guitar Licks You Can Learn if You Stop Masturbating for Even a Few Minutes
We've all heard it before: guitar is easy to play, difficult to master, especially for chronic masturbators. However, some of…
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Heartwarming! This Hero Dog Saved Three Kids, so We Let It Bite the Shit Out of One!
Around here, we’re suckers for a feel-good story, but this one really got the waterworks going for us. Dogs may…
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I’m a Cenobite From “Hellraiser” and I Just Found Out You’ve All Been Calling Me a Hurtful Name
For countless, immeasurable eons, we Cenobites have watched humanity and all your little joys and tiny torments. We are demons…
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Cinema Icon: 15 Lesser Known Film Roles of Blowjob Bear From the Shining
When we think of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 masterpiece, The Shining, we all only think of one thing: the actor…
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Audience Member Preparing to Throw Phone at Taylor Swift Torn Apart by Mysterious Shadows
CHICAGO — Taylor Swift concertgoer Noah Nussbaum was torn into dozens of bloody chunks of meat by dark, shrieking shadows…
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“The O.C.” Intro Flashes Before Dying Millennial’s Eyes
CHICAGO — Thirty-eight-year-old millennial and grocery store manager Tyler Bretlin was shocked to vividly re-experience the iconic opening credits scene…
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Punk Who Misses “Old New York” 17 Years Old
PATERSON, N.J. — Local punk and high school junior Terry Probost, who often claims to miss the grimy, dangerous, pre-Guiliani…
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