NEWARK, N.J. – Local officials are responding to reports of crowds sprinting towards their lovers through Newark Airport as Frou Frou’s “Let Go” plays over…
STONINGTON, Conn. — Local man Eddie Walker was rushed to a hospital in critical condition after accidentally laying his head on a pillow with a…
AUSTIN, Texas — Aging punk Bryce Horn is preparing for doomsday by backing up his collection of “rare” MP3s to an external hard drive amid…
PHILADELPHIA – Researchers at Temple University found that most Americans are using their precious few vacation days to sit on hold and argue with medical…
Both Beyoncé and Taylor Swift have made this clear: they refuse to be part of any narrative that pits two women against each other. And…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Preston Gage, guitarist for the legendary drone metal band Annulvoid, is kicking himself after playing the wrong note for an entire show,…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Doctors across the country warned new and prospective parents that excessive use of white noise machines might lead infants to start drone…
The holidays are right around the corner, and you’re looking for the perfect gift for friends. Or maybe you’re even dropping heavy hints in front…
MONTAGUE, Mass. — Local man Jack Callahan is reportedly on day two of trying to type his overly complicated Disney+ password using the remote for…
Sure, I’m a foodie. I’ve dined at some of the world’s finest restaurants, I know my way around the kitchen, and I even made bread…
NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Members of the reflective indie band Willimantic Trail uncharacteristically planned an elaborate routine in response to “Free Bird” song requests and are…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local drone metal fan Judson Riley was recently seen in his neighborhood gas station murmuring, “What band is this?” as a Slurpee…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — The Grammy Awards’ nomination committee preemptively slated Metallica, Slipknot, and Ghost as nominees for Best Metal Performance in 2025, 2026, and…
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Spotify announced they are releasing a new premium feature for parents that will filter kids’ songs out of your Spotify Wrapped year-end…
NASHUA, N.H. — Local man Ben Beasley’s “Nightmare Before Christmas” tattoo sleeve is a little less shameful now that the sweet spot between Halloween and…