9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project
PITTSBURGH — Rumor mills are churning after 9-year-old nephew Kevin Cott claimed privileged information about an unannounced Nintendo game at…
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Kyle Erf
155 stories found
Bad Dudes Unwilling to Rescue Current President
WASHINGTON — Following the kidnapping of President Donald J. Trump by the dreaded DragonNinja, America’s usual first responders—Bad Dudes Steven…
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Everyone in Family Hiding Weed Use From Each Other
HUNTINGTON, N.Y. — Members of the Colombo family have successfully hidden their marijuana use from each other for years despite…
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Geddy Lee Crashes Giant Owl Into CN Tower
TORONTO — Legendary rocker Geddy Lee crashed his giant owl into the CN Tower last night, which left authorities scrambling…
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Doctor Prescribes Singer Band-Ruining Medication
BOSTON — Local band Silent Lookout entered an existential crisis last week after lead singer Martin Vanzant began treatment for…
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New Jersey Band Becomes New York Band When Touring
HOBOKEN, N.J. — New Jersey-based band The Red Rainbows regularly claim to be from “the city” when touring outside of…
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Death Cab Not for Cutie, Actually for Someone Named Mark
[caption id="attachment_13848" align="aligncenter" width="1702"] Pre-sale tickets available now.[/caption] SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — A recently summoned Death Cab was not intended…
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FBI Criticized for Violent, 51-Day Siege of Polyphonic Spree Compound
DALLAS — The FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team was condemned by civil liberties advocates today for their “needless use of force”…
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SEGA Refuses to Reveal Which Body Part Sonic Puts the Rings In
Despite decades of questioning, SEGA, the producers of the Sonic franchise, have reiterated that they will not answer one of…
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College Buddhist Achieves Nirvana Poster
HAMILTON, N.Y. — Colgate University freshman and practicing Buddhist Devin Fredericks achieved a spiritual milestone last week after purchasing a…
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