CASPER, Wyo. — Jimmy Santiago, lead guitarist of local extreme metal act Necrosticide, called in his older brother George for assistance nailing a spectacularly difficult…
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. — Fans of hardcore and nu-metal announced a peace agreement after finding common ground in their mutual love for seminal post-hardcore band Glassjaw,…
INDIANAPOLIS — Discerning merch buyers and dedicated fans of band doing pretty well for themselves, Stay Swell, were pleased to discover that affordably priced bootleg…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local punk and avid merch buyer Ben Riley officially crossed the line from human being to sentient merch booth with the…
LOS ANGELES — Nike announced today they will be suing Lil Nas X and art collective MSCHF for saying their “Satan Shoes” based on Nike…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local man James Bo finally fulfilled his lifelong dream of growing out his hair last month, only to discover it happened to…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local mobile gamer Jeremy Jackson has drastically improved his performance in gacha game Legend of the Bravest Heroes by discovering a very…
DALLAS — Local band Black Hole Generator finally admitted yesterday that their legendarily enigmatic bassist Eric Coughlin was actually just a cardboard cutout of cult…
GOLDEN, Colo. — Legendary metal band Pantera announced today a collaboration with Coors Brewing Company to bring their fans a new box set in the…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — A Biohazard patch on local metalhead Barret Boone’s denim jacket is reportedly becoming less of an endorsement of the band and…
SEATTLE — Local punk Branson Jones died from multiple stab wounds last week after falling onto the pin side of his jacket during a session…
THE GRAND LINE — Legendary swordsman and anime hero Roronoa Zoro is on the search for a new fighting style after being forced to promise…
MILWAUKEE — Local man Jeremy Grimm’s sudden infatuation with a newly discovered band was put on hold today pending the results of a search of…
LONDON — Venerable heavy metal legends Iron Maiden announced they will hit the road again late next year and will feature a touring lineup consisting…
ATLANTA — Adam Hansen, the lead vocalist of death metal band Corpse Licker and best known for his flowing locks and grimly haunting aesthetic, was…