The Hard Times is committed to reviewing every album that has ever existed, but we refuse to go in any logical order. This week, we…
MESA, Ariz. — Local punk band Forkscrew set expectations high and did not meet them when they walked out to Saves the Day’s classic thrasher…
I’ve been a huge progressive metal fan since the 7th grade when my very confused great aunt bought me Dream Theater’s “Octavarium” instead of the…
“Good Apollo I’m Burning With Secrets of Silent Earth 3 Volume IV: Section B (The Diaxis Continent) Addendum” What the fuck does any of this…
CRANSTON, R.I. – Elder millennial and lifelong pop punk fan Trent Wilshire relived his early teen years by pleasuring himself to completion with only the…
PETALUMA, Calif. — Indie/jangle pop band Diet Water vowed that they will never play a show in Israel out of support of Palestine, though peers…
The goal of a man is to identify his weaknesses, eliminate them, and then start crushing life right in the asshole. At least, that’s what…
JESSUP, Md. — Depressed, despondent millennial Harry Chalke confused those around him when he unwittingly quoted Beck’s “Loser” while summarizing his current state of mental…
BALTIMORE — Ferocious garage punk rockers Cigarettes Saved My Life challenged expectations by including a six-minute ballad at the end of their most recent album,…
Goodwill can be a goldmine of hidden fashion gems available to anyone on the cheap. You just need to be ok with the fact that…
MADISON, Wis. — 24-year-old aspiring writer Ricky Trout is generously referring to a brief nine-day long spring break vacation as “that time I lived in…
BILLINGS, Mont. — Former music obsessive Paul Yarborough finally achieved bodily immunity to the intoxicating effects of new music following years of detachment and apathy,…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Upholsterer Gianna Andrews stunned friends, family, and biologists with the discovery that her body consists more of ranch dressing than any other…
NASHVILLE – Right-wing podcaster Skyler Donelli admitted he is having difficulty choosing a side in the debate over whether a toddler accidentally shooting its mother…
VH1’s “I Love the 80’s” is one of my favorite shows ever. Get a bunch of comedians, TV personalities, and pop historians together, then let…