We Rank the Worst Unsolicited Advice This Sound Guy Only Gives To Women
This sound guy can never resist giving unsolicited advice to impressive women who intimidate him with their talent. You never…
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Heather Cook
40 stories found
Not All Millennials Are Lazy! This 34-Year-Old Already Memorized Half His Social Security Number
Millennials have been deemed the lazy and entitled generation, but there are a few exceptions. Sure, most of us are…
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Girlboss? This Bad Bitch Finished a Whole Tube of Chapstick Without Losing It
We stan a queen that can achieve the impossible. A bad bitch who can pull off a miracle. A girlboss…
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Sick Melody Thought of in Shower Forgotten by End of Shower
WOODSTOWN, N.J. — Local punk Alice Moretti thought of “the sickest” melody while shaving her armpits in the shower moments…
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I Like My Relationships Like I Like My Tuning, Open D
I want my budding love life to be as exciting and effortless as my tuning of choice, open D. I’m…
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Serial Killer Stoked to Find 20 Teeth in Jeans Pocket
FLEMINGTON, NJ. — Local sociopath and deranged serial killer Parker Greene enthusiastically pulled 20 teeth out of the front pocket…
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Couple Who Will Fight and Ignore You All Night Insists You Won’t Feel Like Third Wheel
PHILADELPHIA — Your friends Amber Lakely and Kevin Vasquez promised you today that you wouldn’t feel like a third wheel…
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Wait: Did You Just Re-Start This Song So It Would Be Playing When I Got In The Car?
Hey, thanks for picking me up — Wait, did you just restart that song so it was playing when I…
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Vans Introduces Tiniest Chess Set for Checkerboard Sneakers
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Shoe and apparel company Vans announced the release today of a new line of tiny chess…
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5 Fun Things to Do in a Crowded Bar Instead of Putting Your Fucking Hand on My Lower Back
Remarkable! Men never touch other men when they are navigating through a crowded bar, but if there’s a woman in…
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