Konami Code Also Decent Oral Sex Advice
LOS ANGELES — Film Studies student Aidan Peterson rescued a night of intimacy using a decades-old video game cheat code,…
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Freelancer
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Keyboard Features Worn Out W, A, S, D, P, O, R, N, H, U, and B Keys
HOBOKEN, N.J. — PC gamer Grayson Cotter believes an issue with the keycaps of a top-of-the-line mechanical gaming keyboard he…
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NRA Sues PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds Over Unconstitutional Three Gun Carry Limit
FAIRFAX, Va. — Earlier this week, the National Rifle Association (NRA) filed a lawsuit against PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds creator Bluehole Studios…
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Nintendo Commits to Fully Develop, Promote, and Cancel Three New EarthBound Titles
REDMOND, Wash. — In a Nintendo Direct presentation today, Nintendo of America COO Reggie Fils-Aime revealed Nintendo’s upcoming plans to fully…
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Ex-Girlfriend Uninterested in Reuniting for Riot Fest
KENOSHA, Wis. — Kelsey Soto and Daniel Port will not be reuniting for Riot Fest 2017, despite the rumors swirling…
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Man Tragically Crowdkilled Two Days Before Mosh Retirement
PHILADELPHIA — Local coreman Alex Gonzalez was struck down by a hail of fists in a brutal crowdkilling incident at…
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Punk Having Midlife Crisis Drives New Harley Through Pit
ASTORIA, N.Y. -- A middle-aged man having a midlife crisis drove a Harley Davidson into a mosh pit on Friday…
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Tatooine Punk Complains Sarlacc Pits Used to Be Way Crazier Back in His Day
MOS EISLEY, Tatooine -- Brutal, untamed pits are held as a hallmark of any worthwhile scene. But according to one…
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NES Classic Edition Lets You Play for One Hour, Then It’s Your Little Brother’s Turn
REDMOND, Wash. -- Nintendo’s NES Classic drew sharp reactions from critics and fans alike this week with the announcement of…
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Man With Barcode Tattoo Successfully Returned for Store Credit
JERSEY CITY, NJ – Realizing her relationship was not working out, local woman Cynthia Jefferson decided to utilize her boyfriend’s…
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